Learn Some Important Lessons From Relationships Experts

Most of what you read and hear from relationships experts is nothing but pure common sense. They know how to express themselves, however, in a way makes them easy for us simple people to understand, as they have mastered the art of communication.

- The concept of giving and taking is a prime example. After a certain time in a relationship, there is a tendency for the partners to take each other for granted to a certain measure. The few words of kindness or appreciation just tend to get forgotten.

When your relationship has been through a difficult time and you have managed to get back together again don't forget the importance of that short word of thanks or encouragement. The relationship experts will emphasize the importance of this to strengthen the relationship and keep it prospering.

- The second important lesson from the relationship experts is the importance of pleasing your partner by doing what they would like you to do. Again this is a subject that is too easily ignored. It is very important throughout the life of the relationship and most particularly when your relationship has been through troubled times.

Doing what your partner wants you to do does not involve you losing yourself respect. Your partner feels that you are looking after them. Women like it when their boyfriend helps with the household chore. Boyfriends appreciate it when their partner gives them a hand with their tasks. It's all about feeling loved.

There are varying ways of feeling loved. Some like small gestures of love; others just like to hear a small note of appreciation. Even if these things seem unnecessary to you, your partner may need this type of encouragement to let them feel that they are appreciated in the relationship. It is important to remember these small matters and not forget them.

- Another lesson we learn from the relationship expert is how important it is that the partners show each other their respect. This goes much further than forgetting to say thank you or ignoring a gesture of affection.

Often the people around us suffer have to put up with our bad behavior when we are having an off day. We do something without thinking or lack consideration and we are slow to excuse ourselves. So take care to treat your partner as respectfully as you do your family and work colleagues.

You suggest you read a book written by 'Dub' Jackson. T 'Dub' has written a simple, easy to read guide called "The Magic of Making Up". You will find in this book a considerable amount of useful information to help you understand your relationship.

Joe Basely
For further information click here http://magic-of-making-up-joebisley.blogspot.com

Joe Bisley writes articles about human relationship problems

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How to Gain Confidence and Get Over Being Shy

You will find that there are many people in the world today that do not lack self confidence but are very shy. This shyness is so overwhelming that it makes them look like they have no confidence at all. Learning how to overcome this shyness is a process that can very well take time, but it is well worth the time.

Repetition is a big factor in learning how to gain confidence by overcoming shyness. You have to literally make yourself believe that every morning you get out of bed, you are going to have a great day. No matter what comes your way that day, you are going to be able to handle any situation.

Repeating to yourself that the day is going to be wonderful at least 10 times a day in front of a mirror, will surprisingly give you great results. This enthusiasm sinks into your sub-conscious mind and helps to determine the attitude that you will start your day with.

Another way on how to gain confidence is by making your appearance stand out. Even if you are going to the grocery store, take pride in the way that you look. Dress up and look your best. This will not only build your confidence but will make you feel good about yourself. When you feel good, it gives you a feeling of wanting to share, which will take over that shyness that you may often experience.

You can also make sure that you take at least one risk a day. This does not mean that you go bungee jumping or jump out of a plane. Risks can be visiting a friend that you may feel a little intimidated by or going to a place that is always crowded with people such as a shopping mall. Determining what circumstances happen in your life that affect yourself confidence and experiencing them head on, can help you learn how to gain confidence. Once you have conquered a specific risk, you come to find out that the experience wasn't so bad.

Therapists always tell you that you must face your fears in order to get over them. This applies to learning how to gain confidence as well. Getting yourself out of your comfort zone will help make you more confident but should be done in baby steps. You do not want to overwhelm yourself by trying to conquer all of your shyness traits at once. Engage in activities that you love, and that you feel you are good at. Talk with people that you know and try to expand your relationship level by meeting new friends. Take advantage of the many resources that you have available on the internet in order to help give you many more techniques on how you can build your confidence.

Are you looking for a simple and fast way to improve your self confidence? Read my free report on how to take daily action that will shoot your self confidence through the roof! Visit http://www.dailyconfidenceboost.com and download this 100% free report today.

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Are You Awake in Your Life?

Have you ever had a moment in your life where you feel as if you have awakened to your life? One of those moments where you feel as if THIS is where you truly belong? If you have experienced a moment of 'waking up to your life' you know what I am talking about. It is one of those moments when you are doing a particular thing, sharing an experience with someone, or just simply being and you suddenly realize with clarity that THIS is what you were meant to be doing with your life. Even if you are lucky enough to have had that moment, chances are it was fleeting and quickly replaced by responsibilities or the never-ending list of 'shoulds.'

It is easy for us to fall into a routine and feel as if we are just taking care of tasks and responsibilities, in effect... sleeping through our lives. If you are reading this and thinking 'She's talking about me!' you are not alone. Many of us fall into this pattern.

What if I were to tell you that there IS more for you? Your life is not meant to simply be endured. You deserve to live a joy-filled life. You deserve to live fully present and awake in your life. So, if you deserve those things - how do you achieve it? Change takes time and transformation is a journey, but you can begin the process with the following steps:

1. Make a list of everything that is on your plate in order of importance. Is there anything on your list that you have a passion for? What things are important and have to remain and what things can you let go of? Are there things on your list that could be delegated? Be aware of your inner critic that tells you that it's not ok to take care of yourself, that you are 'wrong' for delegating certain things or giving someone else's responsibility back to themselves.

2. Learn to say no. You don't have to say yes to every request made of you. You don't have to take responsibility for things that others are capable of doing for themselves.

3. Make a list of things that you have a passion for. This could be things that you used to enjoy doing but have given up, things you have always wanted to do, or goals that you once had for yourself that you have set aside. Next to each item, write the possible barriers or roadblocks.

4. Make a conscious choice to remove the things from your plate that are 'shoulds' or that belong to someone else. Delegate the responsibility where it belongs to make room for the things that you have a passion for.

Now that you have a clear picture of everything that is on your plate and a list of things that you have a passion for, it's time to merge them into a vision of your life.

If you could wave a magic wand and experience a perfect day, what would it look like to you? Who would you be with? Where would you be? What would you be doing? How would you feel? Close your eyes for a minute and imagine that day - let yourself be in the moment and feel how it feels. Now you have a clear vision of where you want to go, of what is possible. Write it down. Place it where you will see it often. When you are faced with a decision or a possible new responsibility, ask yourself if it will bring you closer to this vision or further from it. Let your new vision be your guide.

Remember, it is never too late to be who you were meant to be or to live the live you dream of. It won't happen overnight but if you follow these guidelines, you will get there. You deserve it.

Deborah is a Relationship Life Coach. She specializes in Divorce Preparation and Recovery, Couples Coaching, Crisis Coaching, Infidelity Issues, and Grief Recovery. She is passionate and uniquely qualified to assist her clients in uncovering personal roadblocks to live an empowered life on purpose. She founded a non-profit foundation for unwed pregnant teens and battered women and children. She believes strongly in the philosophy that we experience situations in life to learn and grow strength from, so that we can then help someone else that follows. Giving back is very important to her. When she is not coaching or writing she enjoys spending time with her 4 children and 3 grandchildren, traveling, cooking, sky diving and scuba diving.

Please visit my website at http://www.LifeHealingSolutions.com

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How Many Calories is Too Many Calories?

If you're looking to lose some weight then you probably already realize that you need to know what your ideal daily calorie intake should be. You need to know how many calories is too many calories, and how many is just right for you. The right amount can help you keep fit and healthy and make sure that you don't pile on the pounds because you are eating too much.

For some people, working out your appropriate daily calorie level can be real hard. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of websites out there that will claim to tell you what your ideal calorie intake should be. Sound like a solution? Well, good as it sounds this might not always work for you. The problem is that not all of these websites will tell you the same ideal calorie level. Some are simply estimates based on your current weight.

So, you might take the first website's answer, pick a calorie intake and stick with that. But what if it's too low for you? Chances are then you'll simply feel hungry all the time and overeat to compensate. You'll also stand the chance of actually feeling sick as your body won't be getting enough calories to keep it going. And, if the number you get is too high, then your calorie intake will be too high as well, and...you've guessed it, you won't lose the weight you want to lose because you'll essentially be overeating.

You can easily find general figures that tell you how many daily calories men and women should be eating. These are likely to be accurate in some situations but they don't take the whole picture into consideration. So, for example, they won't necessarily include your build or physique and they won't look at how your lifestyle affects your overall calorie count. Burning calories by being active may mean that you need more calories just to get by than if you spend your life on the couch watching TV.

So, it seems logical to try to work out your daily calorie intake in a way that takes into account these factors. Many people find that the Harris-Benedict calorie calculation formula helps here. This calculation of calories is based on you as an individual and your lifestyle. So, how does it work? What you do here is work out your daily calorie intake by using a simple calculation to establish your BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate) figure to start with. This will tell you how many calories your body needs, simply to keep ticking over, even before we consider any level of exercise at all.

If you are a male then you work out your BMR this way:

• 66 + (6.23 x your weight in pounds) + (12.7 x your height in inches) - (6.8 x your age in years)

If you are a female then you use the following calculation:

• 655 + (4.35 x your weight in pounds) + (4.7 x your height in inches) - (4.7 x your age in years)

But, and this is a big but, the advantage to this system is that you must also adapt it to your lifestyle in terms of how active you are. This gives you a much more accurate calorie intake as a whole. To do this you need to think about much exercise you do:

• Sedentary. None/very little/desk job -- multiply your BMR figure by 1.2
• Lightly active. Basic exercise a couple of days/times a week -- multiply your BMR figure by 1.375
• Moderately Active. Exercise/sports 4 or so times a week -- multiply your BMR figure by 1.55
• Very Active. More than 6 times/days a week -- multiply your BMR figure by 1.725
• Extremely active. Virtually every day, more than once a day or doing intensive training --multiply your BMR figure by 1.9

So, if you are a female aged 35, who weighs 140 pounds and is 63 inches tall...your BMR would work out at about 1,400 and if you were moderately active you would multiply this by 1.55 to get a total daily calorie needs figure of 2,170.

Now unfortunately, there are a number of "acceptable" methods to calculate your daily calorie needs including the Hamwi formula, the Robinson formula, the Miller formula, the BMI based formula... as well as the Harris-Benedict formula we have used above, and each one produces a slightly different result and can take into account different factors as well. There is no exact formula unfortunately that will be right for everyone.

So, back to the original question...how many calories is too many calories? If you are trying to lose weight then the daily calorie needs calculation above will be too many. If you are trying to gain weight then too many calories will be based on the growth level you want, and your calorie level will need to be higher. And if you're trying to stay at the same weight level month after month, then exceeding your daily calorie number for your activity level will prove to be "too many".

Yet again, the answer varies for everyone. We are individuals and our calorie needs differ as well, so make sure that you calculate your level based on your set of information and don't simply work off a global average.

If you want some helpful suggestions then take a look at some of the solutions suggested at http://www.YouCanLoseWeightToday.com The ideas presented there might just help get your body working to lose weight fast for you and lessen your cravings during the process!

H Woolston

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Finding the Best Garage Doors

Homeowners well know the convenience that comes with having a garage. Whether it is attached to the house or not a garage provides a place to house a car from the elements as well as extra storage. Once a person has owned one garage, in fact, it is difficult to get him or her to purchase a house without one ever again.

Garages are convenient, but they are made even more so with the installation of a garage door. Lightweight yet strong, quality garage doors are easy to lift and yet secure enough to keep out intruders. They provide extra security, and they can easily be fitted with an automatic garage door opener so that the driver never needs to get out of the car when pulling into or out of the garage.

It is important to select the best garage door. There are many different garage door manufacturers out there, but not every product is of the same quality, and a poorly built garage door will bring with it many extra maintenance costs over its lifetime. Fortunately, finding the best garage doors is really not all that difficult; it takes only a minimum amount of research on the part of the homeowner.

Finding the best garage doors begins with an accurate assessment of one's needs. Measuring precisely the size of the garage door opening is necessary so that the homeowner does not choose a door that is too big or small for the space. The homeowner should have someone help him or her measure the opening so that the right size door can be chosen.

After an accurate measurement has been made, the next step will be to do an investigation of the various brands that are out there. In the age of the Internet, such research is not at all difficult to do, for many consumer-friendly websites offer reviews of the different garage doors from people who have actually installed and used them on their homes. A trip to the local home improvement center will also provide the homeowner with needed information, for the employees there can recommend certain brands of garage doors and explain the pitfalls of others.

Following the selection of the best garage door brand, it is time for the homeowner to look into how he or she may get the garage door for the absolute best price. Again, the Internet will be an invaluable tool because it may be possible to order the door online at a substantial savings. If this is not possible, signing up online for sales flyers from different stores that sell garage doors will put sales information into the homeowner's email inbox once a week or more, enabling him or her to keep abreast of discounts and buy when the product is at its lowest cost.

Unlike other products, it is recommended that homeowners stay away from used garage doors because there is no telling what they have been through. Only new garage doors will have thorough warranties, and that is yet another reason to purchase only those garage doors that have never been used.

Matthew Kerridge is a retired Home Improvement expert. For more information about garage doors please visit http://www.anglianhome.co.uk

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Self-Esteem Part 2 - Strengthening Self-Esteem

This article follows on from Self-Esteem Part 1: Types of and Impacts on Self-Esteem.

So your client wants to changes their level of self-esteem. This is likely to be from low self-esteem as most people with high self-esteem are comfortable with it. Healthy self-esteem is choosing to love/accept and respect yourself because you are who you are. That may include wanting to change certain aspects about yourself.

Your client can move from the lower end of the continuum closer to healthy self-esteem by:

1. Understanding themselves more

2. Believing in themselves more

3. Taking responsibility for making their own choices - including habitual ones

This kind of learning is not a quick fix, but an ongoing process of personal growth. Here are some ideas to start the process.

1. Understanding Themselves

This is around self-awareness. It involves your clients:

• recognising their emotions and the effects they have

• having an accurate assessment of their strengths and limitations - and keeping it into perspective so that, for instance, they are able to show a sense of humour about themselves

• having an accurate and clear self-image

Emotions:

It is important to recognise how genuine your client's emotion is. For example, sometimes we show anger when really we are sad. So ask your client to check this out:

• Listen to their feelings: other people are not responsible for their feelings - and they aren't responsible for other people's!
• Acknowledge their feelings: by acknowledging them without criticism or blame, your client may find intense and uncomfortable feelings soften. Some people hide behind a mask to cover their true feelings.
• Give themselves time before responding: they are responsible for their actions. If they are experiencing strong emotions, the likelihood is that their judgement may not be at its best. And that may lead your client doing or saying things they later regret.
• Figure out what the feeling means: and is it something they can change or sort out? If not, how are they going to respond in the future?
• Express their feelings: your client needs to find the way that works for them. Sometimes they may not want to express their feelings to someone, then they can just say it to themselves, even out loud as it feels more real - or write down what they are feeling. When communicating encourage your clients to use "I" as it shows they own their own feelings.

Strengths:

Research shows that successful people that are happy play on their strengths. And are realistic about them and do not blow them out of proportion. Acknowledging, even celebrating, their strengths counterbalances lower self-esteem people's tendency to focus on their limitations.

Self-Image:

How do your clients see themselves? You may wish to ask your clients to think of characteristics that describe themselves briefly under the following categories:

• Personality
• Relationships with others
• Day-to-day functioning
• Appearance

Suggest that they look for hidden or overlooked talents. Ask them to consider their limitations AND note the specific circumstances where a limitation occurs. Chances are it is not occurring in every situation or all the time. For instance, they may have labeled themselves as a worrier, while in fact they only worry when finances are low. Ask them to avoid using words that are loaded with judgement such as lazy, useless, stupid.

Other ideas are asking your clients to:

• forgive themselves for their mistakes, recognising it is one mistake rather than they are a mistake!
• change the way they talk to themselves about themselves - keep it to specifics rather than generalisations and frame goals in the positive (eg 'I will be on time for that meeting' rather than 'I must never be late'). They probably say far worse things about themselves than they would ever dream saying to another person in the same circumstances. Be sure they judge themselves against reasonable standards.

2. Believe in Themselves

It helps your clients to know what they think is important. Knowing their values strengthens self-esteem because they help your clients in making decisions that best suit them. And knowing they're making quality decisions enhances self-esteem. And your clients recognising their positive intentions increase their self-belief too.

3. Taking Responsibility

Taking responsibility involves your clients drawing on the power within themselves. It is not power over others. In the past this inner power was probably unintentionally given to others. Taking responsibility for themselves, what they say and do, increases their self-esteem as does being themselves. This can include asking for support where needed as well as giving it where appropriate.

For coaches, check out Helen Harrison's website http://www.whatsimportant2u.co.uk to find out about and gain access to a powerful new coaching technique for FREE For others, check out Helen's main website: http://www.monkswoodassociates.co.uk
Tel: +44 (0)1453.835263
Helen enjoys working with people who want to improve how they relate with others and still be true to themselves.

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How Surveyors Work With Engineers

Complementary Skills-Different Jobs
Engineers fall into all sorts of categories, from civil to chemical, from aeronautical to architectural, and from electrical to mechanical. Each is responsible for a different type of construction. For example, civil engineers design roads, bridges and buildings. This category is of particular interest because of the necessity to interact regularly with another scientific discipline-surveying. While civil engineers create structures that must stand the test of time, surveyors are required to ensure that these structures are properly aligned and occupy the correct location. Surveyors perform other responsibilities that do not require an engineer's presence. However, no civil engineer could possibly do his or her job without a surveyor's direct involvement. Both surveyors and engineers possess similar traits that cause them to be very good at what they do. Each has the ability to pay strict attention to detail, has solid analytical skills, and enjoys working in an environment where science and math predominate. Both types of positions require extensive schooling-although graduate degrees are not a prerequisite-and engineers and surveyors alike must pass board examinations in order to practice their respective professions. Recently degreed engineers are usually known by the initials E.I.T. (engineer in training) until passing a state-sponsored engineering test, at which point they are granted the privilege of appending P.E. (professional engineer) to their name-much the same way a doctor uses M.D. Surveyors also go through an official "in training" stage. Once they successfully pass their exam, they may use P.L.S. (professional land surveyor) on their business cards and in business correspondence.

Surveying in an Engineering Environment
Land surveyors are responsible for collecting and evaluating data to advise engineers on properly locating whatever structure they plan to build. They also act as monitors throughout the construction process to ensure than everything is going according to plan-quite literally. In a bridge installation, for example, surveyors set out markers to denote the approaches on both sides and indicate the actual placement of pilings, supports or other factors involving structural integrity. These must match exactly what is shown on the project's master blueprints. In many cases, surveyors are involved in drawing up those blueprints, providing lat-long coordinates and other data-height, length, and so on-that is printed directly on the plans and then referred to throughout the project. Engineers decide how much load a particular structural design can handle, but surveyors make sure that the footings are properly situated-usually to within specifications no more than a few millimeters off true.

The Surveying Crew on an Engineering Site
Rarely is an engineering project simple enough to require the presence of a single-person survey team. Even with the advent of electronic total stations, GPS-based receivers, and hand-held computers that can generate all the distances and angles any project might need, a professional surveyor cannot do the job alone. A party chief, who is most often a senior technician, will usually lead the team. He or she takes responsibility for the day-to-day activities of the survey squad and supervises all the other members. The chief may also operate the primary surveying device-the total station-or perhaps hand off that duty to a trusted technician. Two assistants are generally sufficient to hold the vertical rods, upon which the total station is focused to measure all the necessary angles, distances and elevations. A fourth party member is usually pressed into service to independently record what is being observed. This may include the need for sketches, drawings and notes of data collected by the total station. Much of this process is now computerized. Some hardware items-handheld computers the size of TV remote controls-are equipped with Bluetooth or other wireless technology to instantly download data from the collection device and automatically generate all the maps that an engineering team might need, right on the job site.

Land Surveys Pty Ltd provides engineering surveying services in Perth & Karratha, Western Australia which include all types of property surveying.

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